Blow Jobs

Whenever I read about blow jobs, or hear of them, I get this feeling of disgust and shame. I haven't wanted to give 'him' that sort of attention, I don't want to let him feel that way. Maybe it's because more males have hurt me than females, so I'm more psychologically comfortable with les demoiselles.

I think I have a lot of anger when it comes to these topics in general, and it's mostly uncomfortable when it comes to me reflecting on these issues. One day I do hope to really expel all that is I feel, and have received. I think it will create a really beautiful project (in the eye of I, the beholder). But the process itself will be so self-reflective, that what I will see that I have made will have internally grounded me. It's a coming to terms with these things.

There are so many things that could be psycho-analyzed in these statements, even in the pauses.