Make up dream

Makeup

To dream that you are applying makeup, suggests that you are trying to cover up or conceal an aspect of yourself. Alternatively, it indicates that you are putting on your best face forward. You are trying to enhance your self-image and increase your sense of self-confidence. The dream may also be a metaphor that you need to "make up" with someone. It is time to forgive and forget.

To dream that you are wearing too much makeup, indicates that you are putting too much emphasis on beauty and outside appearances rather than what is inside.

I spent a long time putting this eye-makeup on. It was purple. In the end, I looked as if I was from the eighties, my hair was large and out (still wonderful), I was even wearing a purple dress. Very showy. So I thought to myself how I looked like I was from 30 years ago, but then when I tied my hair back, BAM, I looked modern.

Willy's Appearance

All I've been talking about seems to be of Dreams.

I wouldn't have even realized that this dream hadn't happened, until I saw this Birdcage-Purse online, Etsy shopping.

Short but sweet.

Willy came back to life.

Strong, brilliant yellow in colour was he. I took close attention to his eyes. Shut and mucusy. I held him in my hands. Something about the back yard. Grass and dirt. I thought to myself "but if you are dead, then how are you here now?" answering to myself that someone (I am close to?) had dug him up. Seeing or visualizing a shovel's axis, ploughing the cubed dirt over - yellow popping through. And then bam, life - or re-life. I held him close, and protected him from these small little other animals, dogs maybe. I held him like I did when he was alive. Smelled his dust. I was wondering why both his eyes were shut. Was he blind? He was whistling, and so was I. Just like old times, I could hear our tunes. But he couldn't have been physically damaged in both eyes. He had only injured one before. And it was his right eye, why & how is it now his left? "Oh Willy, you've only shut your other eye." But why were you shutting it? Only winking at me, letting me know that he was there, but why is it closed and sad?

DREAM - Blindness

I forgot I had this dream last night, until Chris mentioned something about blindness.

A VERY PROTECTIVE DREAM. Wayne, my brother, and I were fleeing and running away. There was a lot of grey geometric shapes, and platforms. Jumping from one platform to another, triangles. Wayne was ahead and leading, "This way, over here". In between these platforms were dark and gray. I didn't look down though, I could only tell because I was looking forward to Wayne's jumps, and noticed that they were there. This beast, or whatever was chasing us, coming closer. Very close. Something wrong happened. (I wish I could remember now). A bright light came, very focused and with a lot of hurt about it. It came like a hot spot light, "Look out!" And it went and passed over Wayne's eyes.

"AHH! WAYNE!"

I jumped over onto his platform. He was crouching, holding his eyes. Holy shit, holy shit. Wayne, are you hurt? Show me your eyes! Very painful. Sort of slipping on this incline into the grey dark. He comes out of his curl, and slowly raising his head he slips his hands from his eyes. "Your eyes look fine." "Kim, I'm blind." \(@ o @)/ What the FUCK! A very destructive feeling. That something you love is in this much pain. So much worry, and loss. How and why could this have happened to you?!

Continuing our flee from this situation. Just in need of finding security and protection. He continues to huddle his body a bit, and even though he is tall, I sort of do a protective clasp over his back. Like a sheltering gesture. We quickly make our way again, over these sharp shades of gray. I was in a real panic. Not knowing what to do, but knowing what I had to do. Just to protect and not have anything happen. That clasping arm-stretching grasp was a prominent feeling. Similar maybe to if a Mum seeing that their child has just lost a nail - or just gotten blind from this Giant Lazer!

Oh yeah, I wanted to read about it before I would go to work this morning, but I barely had any time.. so,

Good then Not so Good Dream.

My dream, which I just came out of, was kind of nice - but devastating.

I can't remember much about the beginning.. but it was nice. I met my dealer, Dom, at the end of some field. The sun was high and warm. I had my stuff laid out on the grass... I emptied my bag for some reason. We were at the end of the hill, like a cliff, but not so, it was just a steep decline. I sort of tripped, and would slip a bit, but very casually and smiley make an easy recovery step up. A lot of smiles being exchanged. I knew that we both were Gemini in the dream, and I 'knew' that he had Venus in Taurus (he doesn't though - in this life). I was definitely flirting, and I sensed that he was too. That's where I was thinking "Mm, two Gemini's." Some thing happened.. where I was given some sort of article of clothing, made out of hemp... I put it on... I believe they were shoes, because after slipping down the hill, my original ones went away, and then Dom gave me hemp ones? So I wore them to show me and him. I was looking down and remarked "That's a lot of Hemp." My bag, these new giant skateboard hemp shoes, and my skirt. I thought it was overdone, and a bit on the uncomfortable amount of hemp to wear. Unusually hempy. Moreover, we chuckled about it. So I'm sitting back down on the grass, and then I see that I want my camera. Dom's laying down on his stomach/side, and I reached for my camera, which was on the other side of him. So reaching over him, definitely had to lay on him for a bit (part of the flirt tactic I suppose), things got weird. All of a sudden, he realized that I was flirting? He realized that he had a girlfriend? And he dipped, really. I was trying to play it off, and I looked to take a picture of the moon with my camera. I didn't see it last night, but in this world I was trying to. I looked through to take a shot, and it was weird what I saw, but my camera was damaged. The lenses were cracked and smashed. Like they were sat on. I was in.. my heart just sank. I look to Dom and started to express it a bit like, "Aw man, Dom, my cameras totally broken." But it was very dark, and I think he was already gone. But it didn't phase me too much, for my camera was just, ah, my heart, my heart being broken. I don't know. I went to get my stuff. Put some in the bag, but ah, such a disaster zone. All these little bits of glass. Broken lens. Broken and bent metal. I couldn't even pick up all the lens shards. I gave up, and started to walk home in the field. It was almost as if it was 2 AM, just in the Dark. I kept on trying to look at the Full moon, but the same broken green and brown and white image. I didn't understand why any would.

Such a warm then cold variance.

Some things from the Wednesday March 16th Day.

A while ago, or whenever ago, I stumbleuponed this chick's photography project of taking a portrait photo of different people, and then combining their left and right halves of their faces.. knowing that neither would be symmetrical to the other, interesting at the differences that would be made. So I logged this in the brain of "THINGS TO DO", and then hence this photo.. and the following ones of that drawing from Andrew/Shane, heh.

The left side of this is the true side. Interesting, eh.

After Stumbling upon many different art things... after a while a tolerance of sorts sort of develops. Art things.. some/most are just not interesting, not innovative. Now I don't know what this thing categorizes under, but I really love it. The texture. Blob for blob marking light and texture, plainly reproductive of his view of his world. Eyesight, pure and simple, experience.. blahhh..

Awesome and neat project. I'll forward this to my younger brother, John. Drawing monsters in landscape photos.. we have a landscape photo in our living room... I'll be terrible sure of letting him know of this idea in the proceeding morning. Cool!
Lastly, I bought some things on Ebay today. One of the most prominent being the Charlotte's Web 1973 VHS video thing...and a poster maybe.. or not, can't really remember. And then a rock-climbing decal for an automobile...rear window.. Wayne said that he was thinking of getting it.. I dunno, I"m getting it for him now.. hmm.. BUT JUST NOW - I remember he said he was going to get it after I wasn't there...so as to be without an external conscious. Here I am, a secondary conscious to what he might have already purchased. Damn. Hopefully not. In anycase, I have applesauce and plan on making a wonderful cake for him tomorrow. Before he comes at 5. That being said;

Good night. : )

From the Summer of 2010

It's really kind of funny how this picture has found it's way to me. I had just finally spoken to this guy that I've had some uncertainties with from the summer, I do like him, I just don't like how he handles his temper. His defensive mannerisms are to lash back, instill guilt, and deny any wrong doing on his part. Completely blind of his own faults. It's frustrating to see him point a finger at you, whereas you could say more, but then again, you're not him, for a good reason. And you'd like for him to be able to see how he's been. But how, but how indeed.

I'm like this too though. Quite the temper, horribly destructive. But I choose who to show it to. Or, is it that I choose? It just happens. Most of it's been through indirect communication, at least at the physical level. Emails, letters, texts. I'm sort of a part of the generation like that. I suppose it's easier to get away with, so then it's not really recognized as wrong doing. Damn.

So I gave this to his friend before, then they partied, and he had it. Neat story really, it all made me smile. And then they split, then he has it, and he likes it, I enjoy how he likes it. Then we're in a bit of a cheese-stink of a situation. And then his friends see it, and post it up on the internet, I find it, the same day where we start to finally talk.. what is it, March? This was from August? I thought it was done, but he really needs to bring me down. It's disturbingly obvious. And this creates an ultimatum.

Whereas no matter how fantastical I might see him being, or being capable of being, if he acts wrongly, trying to guilt trip me, have me beg, have himself seen and admired once again, then my dear, I'm wrong - You're not worth it. I'll move on fine, sorta sad that it didn't work out. But I was trying, and you weren't. And that's where it ended. But even as I continue to think, I become more and more unsure of where I stand. I will wait, but I won't. I want to re-ignite the friendship, but I don't. I don't like all of him, but that's come out of the situations.

WWJD is definitely the symbolic question here, but I honestly couldn't even guess. If he doesn't recognized his problems, then he doesn't grow into a better person. I think that's where we differ. I will apologize, and he's not yet comfortable with doing so, with me at least. Ah, time. We'll just need to talk in person. Instead of this jab jab action.

February Photo Gluing

Hello there. Ahh, well.. I've sent in my application to school, and then I had a friend, Shane, come down for a bit (neat-o!), and then tried and failed at getting a second job. But all in all, I've had it better I'd say. The application was stressing me out a bit, and then.. now I don't really know what to stress me out with... There still remain those strong few unaccomplished tasks that rest within my room. They are to send two Packages out.. putting the rest of my Families photos into albums.. reading. The stuff I used to occupy my time before. But in any case. More onto what I was getting at in the first place here..

So when Shane came down, I definitely whipped out the camera, even the Ms. Z. Contessa (still the one roll in her though) and got some WONDERFUL photos. Oh so cool indeed. But so here are some from those 5 days:

The 2nd Day.

We found ourselves using up some spare time in between plans at this park on Lakeshore, surrounded by Refineries and other Industrial things. Complete with shiny lights in the nighttime, and the plenty of smoke stacks. There was this wall.. that was just a skate-shoe's-width-width and Shane went up along it. Just a natural ascending movement. And so I encouraged him to tread it, and taking snap shots here and there... all of a sudden I see him jump down & off. Shit! But no worries, platform ahead. So I got him to do it again, so I could do a prepared snapping shot. I like this idea.. I'll be sure to use it again sometime..

Niagara Falls and Shane

Not that they match amazingly, but not that they don't in any matter. We went to Niagara Falls, ha! I've never gone in February. Sorta cold actually. Like... Right now it's not too cold out, and I sort of forget how cold and bitter the air could be.. but, I know that it was cold last month. Taking photos and smoking rolls. It was a really good time actually. We saw how clouds would form, as they would before us within 3 minutes or so? The mist would raise up... since the air was cold and the water was warmer than.. a lot of mist would go up. And then it would blob itself into clouds.. like the train in Dumbo. Really cool actually.

A Night with Bright Lights and Longer Shutter Speed

I forget which night that this was. But along the highway no Doubt to Toronto and Up. Mmm, most probably. We had come from Brampton.. waiting quite the whiles for my guy to show. Which isn't that cool.. but eh, it all turned out well in any case! Driving onwards and just in good company and in good interest of the night to come.

Moon, Light, & Shane.

These ones are just the ones that aren't really pointed at anything.. or, with any thing in interest I think. Well, I guess I was trying to get a shot of Shane's face.. but how did I only get the mouth? In any case, I really do still like these two photos. A nice silhouette, and then some good spots of light here and there.

Shane and Rectangle Light

Close ups, I do like them. I forget where we were when this was taken.. but it's near photos taken in my room.. so hey, within the House. But such a nice soft light, it's what I like about it most. Followed by the blue and then.. I had this other shot of some light being refracted or whatever... so added them together just because I liked the close up one so much..

Mustanggg Ride

'Nuff said. We were cruising. Actually even on the first day of my parents meeting Shane, they each took a liking to him. Offered him the Van at first, and then on the second day.. the mustang. We got to use it as if it were Shane's own car back in Nova. Which was definitely appreciated. I mean hey, if I had a jet, and the fuel to fly it.. I would fly it..ahh... yeah.

Timed Drive Ride

Another Night driving to and fro from Brampton, to North York, and back to Oakville. It was so pleasant just being in a car again with this Nova gem. Just a good spirited soul.

Angelaaah

Wayne has his Youth Church group meetings on Sunday nights, and the last two times I've brought my camera. Just have been feeling like it. So Wayne took some shots (I was too shy, didn't even whip it out - heh), and he snapped this wonderful one of Ang. : ) So I sandwiched it in between two of the same photos from the night Shane and I drove back from Brampton. I feel like it's 'Nhgaaaaaah' ing something.. you know. Sound waves.