Yhup.

Think of things that will only move your forward.


TOday I'm very close to permanently deleting my facebook. This is definitely going hand in hand with the feelings of detachment I have with some of the relationships in my immediate environment. This is for no alarm - it's just - a reorganizing of quality vs. quantity. Do I want to know what you're doing every single day? What's on your thoughts, &c. Or do I just want to .. see you, hear you, feel you. I want to know how you are. Wow. My wrists are close enough to clip off this FB.

I feel ready, in a sense that I am also .. anticipating it. It's like I know I'm going to do it - it's just a matter of doing it.

Funnily, I have two facebook accounts - humourous.

It's the photos man, the photos. Do I want to save them all??.. Mmm.. not quite. I saved one today - I will insert it at the end of this. But how many more? I don't necessarily want baggage, or give agency to photos, although I do appreciate them, and do continue to take photos. I guess I am just looking for sincerity in documentation. Not nervousness, or insecurity.

I'm not necessarily worried about being forgotten or found. I don't want fakeness to distract clear and honest interactions.

And also - isn't it strange how when we die our Facebook is still up? A friend said it is like a cyber-graveyard. But I don't want it up when I die.

You can come into my room, and open up my journals and diaries, please - go on ahead. But don't click on me from the inquisitive one way channel of your bedroom. I really don't have beef, and maybe I'm protecting myself from me in the end.

Look at this - I'm hesitating.

Here is the photo, : )

Going

I definitely have a personality that likes to put blame on other people. Meaning, I don't want to be doing anything wrong, so when I do do something wrong - I put it on others. What is this? De-ferrance? Reappropo-... Repositorizatoriation?

It's not necessarily accepting the air, the world, the environment, the you, the I  - as is. It's saying what it's not. Mmm.. negative.

I am sitting on my couch. I have plans to go to costco today. I would love having a car on these days. I have not bused by myself to costco yet. I've been here two years. It's not so drastic. I am making up excuses as to why I'm not prepared to do this today. Don't worry Kim - you do run on your time.

I'm going to get some protein and put some back into Mareena's protein bin. Lol - in debt.

It's been nice. For the majority of Mareena having been to Whistler, Shaun has stayed over.

Wednesday I wanted to go biking, but then didn't. And so I was kicking my butt in, and I said, okay - Thursday you prep, and Friday at 5am you bike to crystal crescent. Shaun comes in on Thursday being like - let's bike to Crystal Crescent. I tell him my plans, and after some feeling things out and through, we say that Friday morning we'll go.

We sleep in past 5 on Friday, because of many reasons, but for many benefits. Having had received a good rest, having had biked in the sun, and me having had gone through the Rotary before Shaun - it was for the best. For I wanted to go out into the wee hours of the morning to avoid the cars in the rotary, so I would sacrifice a chance for me to overcome my fear of me on the road with cars. Anyways, it turned out great. I felt very proud going up the hill. I stopped the bike and looked back to Shaun smiling. I didn't say. But my smile and my breathes were very much proud and happy. We continued along.

For the bike trip - I pretty much have biking to crystal crescent and back twice a day as my daily distance. 120 km. So - I will like to do this a bit - really. At least a couple of times.

I have goals, and I feel nervous because I believe I will fail these goals. It's taking me a lot of time to get out to the bus stop. I want to take the 7. FACK

WE'LL DO IT LIVE