I had presented my photography assignment yesterday, and lemme tell ya, it went on to be fabulous. Before I had presented it I had wondered if it would have come together to look like a series, and it did. I was doubting myself because I didn't know if it was coherent, and if it made sense, but it did, yeah.
I had a passage out from the Prophet in it (I didn't cite it, but I was standing there and I verbally cited it) and then I had arranged, randomly, but not, the 10 photographs of Jake, and then I had placed the 1 photograph of me (that Jake took) in the bottom right corner. So three rows, and 4 columns. I had three vertical-rectangle photographs, and the rest were landscape, the passage was its own rectangle, and then so was the photograph of me. So in order to have their dimensions not distract the overall presentation, I mounted them on 12 inch squared white board. That was a really good idea.
As I was walking up the stairs to the photography department, after I had purchased the mounting board, I was questioning whether it made sense to spend more money on this project. I thought to myself "Well, if my Dad and Mom are helping me with school, and they want me to do my best, should I not do my best?" Mounting the photos brought an overall look of cleanliness and order to the presentation. I knew the effect of the gray cork board underneath them would visually impede their effects, so yeah. I was imagining how I would want them presented if I were to exhibit them, and it would've been the same square foot idea.
The arrangement of photo experiments, and chop ups were all mingled in together. I had the photo pair of Jake and I across from each other on the bottomest left and right corners.
The arrangement of the grid enabled the viewer to focus on each of the photographs, instead of focus on the negative spaces between each mounted image.
It was really nice, because Matt spoke out "I think from what Kim's saying, how she's experimented with the photographs and cut up each portrait makes sense." And then he added, "These are my favourite series that I have seen today." And then 5 or more so people nodded with him in agreement. It was lovely, because Jasmine came to me twice and said "Kim, I just always love your photographs." Marena, and Olivia, and Kate all had given me their verbal praise and blessings, which just is wonderful.
I was extremely paranoid that I wouldn't make it, and worried that the glitches in each photograph would deter any visual value that they might carry. Surprisingly enough, my teacher only critiqued on the addition of the written text, but I failed to inform her that if I was planning on setting the overall attitude of the series. If that written text had no been there, then I wonder if the effect of the photographs would still read as something enjoyable and not.
My teacher, Lorraine, had said that the addition of my image, and the addition of the untouched portrait of Jake had cemented the visual strength of each distorted image, and their context.
I spoke honestly. I had instilled that my project had evolved from my first initial path of thought, and Lorraine was kind enough to read it out loud, "Disintegration, drugs." So I continued on with how I find it interesting how we each have these moments where we tend to destroy certain known or unknown aspects of ourselves. I said that it might've just been me, and that I've seen it happen in most people I know, and that I was quite sure that it must happen to most then. Lorraine was nodding and I was keeping eye contact with people and it was generally good spoken word. I wasn't shaking or fidgeting, and my voice was sturdy.
So anyways, I continued by saying how I had only one subject in mind, Jake. He is a friend, who I nostalgically admire, yet he has these characteristics which I don't admire. But I love him as a whole, yet despise him in a way. I made a connection with another girl's "Relationship between the artist and the muse" project, because Jake is my muse. I draw him, and photograph as easily as it gets. I felt fully supported by everyone in the room, and felt empowered as a photography artist. I felt very secure in my experimentations, and I really do feel proud of these accomplishments. Jasmine had asked me how I managed to create two of the photographs, to whom I happily described the process.
When I was putting them up, Lorraine asked if I needed any help, and I thanked her, but said no, for I was still seeing how to arrange them. When I was taking them down, she came to me and asked, "Kim, are you taking Intro to Photo next year?" And I said that I didn't know, even though I do want to learn and have access to all the school's photography department. It was further pleasant to see her photograph the series as a whole, yet go up to certain individual photographs which she liked, and document each on her digital camera. The class wondered how I managed to distort some of the images, and I said I did some on slants, and they were pleasantly in the know. One girl said, or two, including Marena, "You've shown me that there's more to photography, there's more that I don't know." Which I personally fricken love, because there is more.
I'm really really happy about it, and so proud. I'm forever grateful of the feedback I've received as it encourages me to go on happily to create and experiment more.
In the darkroom this Tuesday I saw some kid painting on the developer on his photographs, and I was like "HAHA!" Not that I know he saw my photographs of Olivia dreaming, or that it was the exact same technique, but I rather enjoyed seeing it. I admired how he was using a paintbrush to apply the developer, I hadn't controlled it like that in my last series.
There was also this other girl who was showed her experimentations to the class, but it was right after me, and she was frightfully defensive to the class. She kept on saying in a harsh tone, "So yeah, my photographs don't really make sense. I just cut up my negatives a bunch and went into experimenting with them. But I don't really care that they don't make sense, but that I had fun. So, yeah, whatever, I just care that I had fun." In my head I was like, "Oh man, 40% of the mark, and I can tell that you're not really that proud of them." I intentionally spoke of her photographs, and there were two that I rather enjoyed.. and yeah. I'm pretty sure I'm saying this so as to exemplify how my experimental series stood out as a whole (even though they weren't perfect) and how I am very very much proud of them. And then also I'm saying it because it reflected my first dream series. I had experimented without perfecting the technique. Whereas for this Jake series, it was a bit more accomplished, and overall sophisticated due to me mounting the images. It read as, "This person takes it a bit more seriously."
I love it, I've learned so much.
Before I thought, "Oh no, I don't think I can take photography, because it costs too much. Even though it's an interest, I don't think it's of me." Pffft, fuck that. I'm taking it.
Beautiful, anyways.
I hope I'm not being excessively proud. It just feels synonymous to when a person might relieve themselves of this pressing poop, and even still, 30 minutes later, they still feel euphoric.
But good night still. : ] Keep on keeping on, heh.
p.s. I won't be digitally uploading any of these images up onto the internet, because I figured I want people to see my stuff in person. I will not expose it so openly because that can be done when I'm dead. For now, it's up to people to people interactions and talk through mouth, to see if I can get up off of the ground.
Much lovess
