I brought no slingshot to school today - and I essentially dug myself into a deeper hole when I attempted, through the magic of improvisational words, to give them precedence. I.e. I was being pretentious. But so whatever.. under the rug, a part of me.
And then this kid was stereotyping me to his other Filipino friends, and hassled me for not knowing 'my own culture'. I said "Hey wait a minute, I'm Canadian." and he was jostling me, asking me if I had my rice for breakfast, and if I brought my rice cooker. He was speaking Tagalog words that I didn't know, and scrutinized me for not knowing what he was saying. I was becoming very shaky, angry, and hurt.
He approached me later being like "Hey, what's your name?" Kim, what's yours, yadda yadda. "I guess that stuff really offends you." Yeah it does, but I guess it's more about me. I was turning it on to me, thinking that I should be proud of where my mother's blood comes from. But then I realized, the only thing that pissed me right the fuck off, and still does, is that if it's not one thing, it's another. It's either I'm Korean, Filipino, from China, I must be Chinese. I should be well versed in Korean and Japanese, and know the differences between each character. I guess I should love fish and pork on Rice, I probably eat a lot of Sushi, every day. I must never hate any sort of fish or meat. It's Asian. Definitely, I must be Asian. Also awesome at Math and Engineering. But I also must be good at drawing anime - I've watched my fair share of the movies. Kim, definitely Korean.
Actually - I'm Canadian. Do not say you're not being prejudice when you're generalizing and concluded who I am, purely because of what I look like to you, resembling to what else you have seen. If I am getting angry, it's because you'ven't shut up yet for me to fucking talk. What marks my skin different to you? If I merely looked more tanned and with thicker hair, and a longer nose, you would relate me to something you had seen before. How are you not oppressing me right now? Why should I not just fight back and rip you apart?
If it's not one thing, it's another. What makes me the fuck-different to you, you fucking ass hole.
