Getting angry when I don't want to. And I think my mind is telling me emotions to shut up. And my emotions are being like, fuck off mind. I'm going to get angry.

AH! I am frustrated. And I'm releasing it on someone. I don't like being angry or frustrated at them, because I like them a lot. I've told them why I'm feeling like such. And they have said sorry. And it's in the past, and it's happened. There' no reason to feel sorry, or to say sorry. But me even saying that is like - there's no reason to feel angry, but then I am. Not at them, but at how I have been delayed. How there's no one to truly blame. Even if they did let me know, it's not like the situation I am in right now would be different. It's not like their actions would change. The outcome would have still been the same. I think it's just not getting left in the dark, is what I am getting at. If you're not going to show up, let me know. Let me fucking know. And I've left people in the dark too - so I'm just getting what I dish out.

Oh man. I just want things to start happening.

I'm going to obviously go to bed right now. maybe it's not obvious, because it's only obvious to when I'm writing this, but since this will be read in the future.. I guess - whatever. Fuck fuck fuck it all.

I just want to focus on things that are dependable. And that is me doing well in school, and not sacrificing my success in school, on people who don't give a shit about it enough to text me. but it's not like they knew.

God damn fucking damnit
 Good night.