nothing is possessed

im still focusing on the temporality of our meeting. it wont last, does either of us care? i dont know what will become of anything past next tuesday, does anyone have to care about that. why do i care that you plan on leaving?  i take two steps back. because then i know not to care, but then it effects me right now. but only because i let it effect me. today i pictured my mothers funeral, and then pictured me going alone at the edge of a cliff, sitting on a branch that dangles from its edge. i sit on it like a swing and i scream. i scream out into the mass of water. people look to me and they know that no one could ever match my grief. they wonder how such a nice Kim could yello so loud, with so much pain, and anger. and then they realized, "fuck she must have loved her." hell, i always will. life takes things that you do not own away. i own nothing, so it feels like someday it will take it all away. hmm. fuck that noise. that kind of has a negative connotation from it, but  really, it could have a positive one. "Hi, I take things." is that positive? no? not yet? well maybe it will be, or could be. Am I bitter right now? or am I just tired. pfft, not just tired. I dont know whether to cash all my coins in, or to go all out. well it depends on how you want to play the motherfuckin poker game, because anyways, you dont even own your own shit. that possessive there in grammar is a lie. fuck that syntax. his, hers, their, ours, all that shit, a fucking illusion. nothing is mine.